Serenade

image credit: NYC Ballet

"I lift my eyes to the mountains; where does my help come from? 

My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth."

Psalm 121:1-2

    Serenade  was the first ballet that famous choreographer George Balanchine made after moving from Russia to the United States. Balanchine, founder of the New York City Ballet and well known choreographer (the versions most ballet fans know of Swan Lake, Sleeping Beauty, and The Nutcracker all come from him), said the ballet was inspired by ballet students looking out the studio window at the moonlight. 

    The ballet itself, especially the opening scene, is peaceful and dreamy. For a full minute, the curtain is closed, the entire setting comprised of the unhurried string music of Tchaikovsky's Serenade for Strings in C Major. Then the curtain rises, and the next thirty seconds or so see rows of ballet dancers, dressed in light blue skirts and bathed in soft blue light. Standing in the most basic ballet position, with one hand extended upward, they focus their gazes on the light coming from stage right. 

    I saw this ballet in 2016, just before auditioning for the dance program at my dream college. The scene above brought to mind one of my favorite passages, Psalm 121: "I lift my eyes to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth." Recreating the scene, I can imagine the light trailing in from an open window, a light breeze blowing through my hair. It reminds me of quiet moments spent with the Lord, and of various moments in my life when I was dealing with sadness and disappointment and pulled this image to my mind, crying out to the Lord and seeking Him for help. The light becomes a symbol of His presence, close enough to touch. The music represents waiting in quiet before Him.

    As my relationship with Christ has grown in trust and intimacy, coming to Him in prayer becomes easier and more enjoyable. This song has become the soundtrack for my prayers, and the image of standing in that scene, focusing my eyes and heart on the Lord, has become a symbol of that relationship. Whatever I go through, I know I can always find help in the Lord. 

Read the rest of Psalm 121

Best of Tchaikovsky: Spotify

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About Me

After going to church literally since before I was born, I was saved at dance class when I was nine years old. It was the last week of class, and the teacher gave us the "Jesus talk" at the end of the night, then asked if anyone wanted to pray with her. My hand shot up almost before I realized what was happening; I had been feeling the pull of the Holy Spirit and was almost just waiting for someone to ask me about it. I can specifically remember praying to ask Jesus into my heart, promising to “live for You, and dance for You.” Nothing had ever felt so right.

I started out as a super enthusiastic follower of Christ, but began to lose steam when my attempts to invite my classmates to church were turned down again and again. In middle school I began to face doubt and fear that kept me from sharing my faith and from growing as much as I could have; I even began to doubt my salvation. After recommitting my life at Falls Creek the summer after eighth grade, I continued to try and grow in Him, but I was still relying too much on my own ability to accomplish all the things and be "good enough" and not enough on the grace and power of Christ. This changed starting in eleventh grade, when I met an older and more mature believer who began to mentor and disciple me. That was the point when I really started to grow as a believer. After I graduated high school, I began to seek a community of other believers, and after months of asking and waiting, I finally began to find that at the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry).

My second semester in college, I went through a season of disappointment and isolation. I auditioned for the dance program at my school and was told, politely, that I did not have enough skill or experience to complete the degree I wanted. This forced me to reconsider everything I had planned for my life for the last ten years or so, and I was understandably shaken up by it. I also felt very alone at that point as my roommate moved out due to health problems and I had few real friends. I came as close in that season as I ever have to being really, truly depressed, and felt that there was no one that I could really talk to about it.

In the midst of that season, however, God began to grow my trust in Him in a very real way. It was as though He was telling me to just be brave enough to trust Him for one more day as I forced myself to complete dance classes that now seemed useless to me and was surrounded by all the people who were "good enough" to complete the program by which I had been rejected. And the way the God communicated this immensely powerful message to me was through my favorite artist in the history of the universe, Adam Young (better known as Owl City).

In the months that followed, more and more of my fandoms (Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and various artists) began to show links to Biblical themes and truths. Things that I already knew, verses that I had memorized years ago, and stories that I could repeat from memory, suddenly took on a new meaning as my brain, and the Holy Spirit, connected them to songs and stories that I had grown to love. Because, deep down, the songs that we sing about our love or loss or longing, the stories we write about adventure or romance or revolution, all point back to God.

The purpose of this blog is simple: to express the connections that I have found between “secular” fandoms and spiritual truths, and to encourage you, my fellow fan-people, to do the same. I pray that the Lord will speak to your heart, whether you believe in Him or not, in ways you never thought possible.